Search Results for: Gift and Humour

‘… you won’t know whether to laugh or cry’ DAILY MAIL


 Getting up at the crack of dawn, wearing school uniform, squabbles in the schoolyard, endless homework… those were the best days of your life! It’s time to relive them with this new collection of side-splitting jokes and ridiculous exam answers, showcasing the very best (and worst) in school humour.

Another year, another set of exams and another round of well-meaning students to provide us with our textbook mix of wisdom and wisecracks.

Bursting with yet more crazy and creative thinking, this book showcases an all-new selection of test paper answers, from hilarious misunderstandings to breathtaking ingenuity.

What did the poo say to the fart?
You blow me away!
 
Full to the brim with obscene one-liners, gross-out gags and smutty shenanigans, this book should be your number one – and number two – choice for lav-based laughs.

Is ‘shit’ the most versatile word in the English language? Quite possibly!

This little book presents some of the best uses of our favourite expletive. From doctors (Take two shits and call me in the morning) to waiters (You want fries with that shit?), and whether you’re a Darwinist (It’s survival of the shittest) or a Catholic (If shit happens, we deserve it), there’s enough shit for everyone!

What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off!


Filled with more filth than three-week old underwear, this little collection of obscene one-liners, smutty shenanigans and graphic gags will have you blushing like a freshly spanked bottom and sniggering like a naughty school kid.

If you thought there was only one type of fart, get ready to be blown away!

This amusing and informative little book is set to entertain farters far and wide. Featuring all things flatulence, it’s the perfect gift for toilet-humoured-trouser-coughers!

Human beings are made unique by a selection of special and beautiful things: our fingerprints, our irises, our voices… and our farts.

Covering the many different types of farts, farty facts (did you know, a person farts around 15 times a day?), farting etiquette, top-trumping tips and bottom-burp analysis, this book is sure to make you laugh out loud and let one rip.

Get a whiff of what this book’s got going on inside:

· Historical farts, such as The Tomb of Toot-ankhamun
· Musical farts, such as Trumpet Chorus
· Travel farts, such as Turdulance
· Animal Farts, such as The Whale Song
· Mini Farts, such as Pocket Parp

And more!

After reading this pocket-(parp)-sized book, you’ll realize you didn’t know the first thing about flatulence!

Is “shit” the most versatile word in the English language? Quite possibly!

From Philosophical Shit to Animal Shit, and Cultural Shit to Political Shit, this little book is the perfect gift for potty-humoured people.

We’ve been saying “shit” (meaning “trash”) since the sixteenth century – “The government is a load of shit!” – but the word itself has been around for thousands of years. Now it’s a fan favourite four-letter word, used when you stub your toe, eat something good, spot something gross on the carpet, and all that other shit.

With pages dedicated to some of the best uses of our favourite expletive, this book will make you laugh out loud, think about scientific shit, work, religion, and so on, and reflect on just how versatile a word “shit” really is.

Some of the shits this book gives:
– Doctors: Take two shits and call me in the morning
– Waiters: You want fries with that shit?
– Darwinism: Survival of the shittest
– Jediism: May the shit be with you

There’s enough shit for everyone!

My mate was selling a television cheap because the volume was broken. I couldn’t turn it down.

What’s black and white and bad all over? These jokes! Groaning with silly gags, classic crap wisecracks, naff knock-knocks, poor puns and lame one-liners, this book will make you cry until you laugh.

‘What would you be if you weren’t Irish?’ asked the barman.


Pat replied, ‘Ashamed!’


There are two types of people in this world: the Irish, and those who wish they were. But wherever you’re from, The Little Book of Irish Jokes is packed with grand gags and Celtic wisecracks that will give you the gift of the gab and a belly full of laughs.

My doctor asked me if I drank to excess. I told him I would drink to anything.
What is a bear’s favourite pasta? Tagliateddy.
How do snowmen get to work? By icicle.
If laughter is the best medicine, this colossal compendium is an overdose waiting to happen! With gags grouped into sections ranging from babies and birthdays to marriage and music, there’s something for everyone in these jest-packed pages. Side effects may include split sides and a sore jaw.

Child: Dad, I’m hungry
Dad: Hello hungry, I’m Dad!
Celebrate the sense of humour that’s so bad it’s great with this ultimate collection of dad jokes. From cheesy one-liners to puns so terrible that they should probably be illegal, this book has it all – it’s sure to make you laugh and cry.

Perfect for dads and lovers of cheesy puns and one-liners, this pocket-sized collection offers a year’s worth of mirth suitable for all ages

There’s something very special about dad jokes – they’re always enjoyably terrible, sometimes quite witty and occasionally downright hilarious. So if you’re a dad looking to add to your collection of funnies, or you’d like to beat your old man at his own game, this is the book for you.

Packed into these pages are pithy wisecracks, comically cringeworthy puns, silly one-liners and enough other types of joke to last an entire year. Among the hundreds of groan-worthy gags you’ll find gems like:
– How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
– Why are balloons so expensive? Inflation.
– What do you call an elephant who doesn’t matter? Irrelephant.
– How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
– Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.

Unapologetically themselves, just like dads, these are jokes to inflict with glee on all the family.

Hamish decided to call his father-in-law ‘The Exorcist’ because every time he came to visit he made the spirits disappear.
If you’re Scottish, you like a wee joke. Aye, and you can take one just as well. Packed with the very best one-liners and yarns from the land of the brave, The Little Book of Scottish Jokes will get you guffawing in no time.

What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded?
He sent on his subs.
God and the devil were having an argument, and Satan proposed a football game between heaven and hell to resolve the dispute.
God, in his eternal goodness, pointed out that it wouldn’t be a fair match because all the ‘good’ players go to heaven.
The devil smiled, replying, ‘Yes, but we’ve got all the refs.’
Football is obviously very serious business – like when that disallowed goal was ‘never off-side’, and that was ‘totally a dive’ – but it’s a funny old game really. This compendium of hilarious jokes will help you see the lighter side when your team is showing you up, and give your mates a good chuckle at the celebrations when they win. 

Why did the golfer’s wife ask to be buried on the golf course?

So she could be sure her husband would visit her grave.

After a long day on the fairway, put away the patterned jumper and five-iron and laugh off the double-bogeys with this selection of hysterical jokes. Golf’s Funniest Jokes will suit golf fanatics to a tee.

Patient: Doctor, I think I’m a cricket ball!

Doctor: Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon.

Crammed full of hilarious cricketing jokes from players and pundits alike, Cricket’s Funniest Jokes will bowl over any fan of the gentleman’s game – guaranteed to raise a laugh when you’re stumped or when rain stops play.

Why is a successful rugby team like a lingerie shop?

It has a wide variety of cups and plenty of support.

Some might say there’s nothing funny about cauliflower ears and scrums, but this little book begs to differ. Packed with rib-tickling jokes, Rugby’s Funniest Jokes is perfect for any fan of the sport with the odd-shaped ball.

What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded?
He sent on his subs.

Football is a funny old game, and not only because of the players’ hairstyles. Football’s Funniest Jokes is guaranteed to raise a chuckle even if you’re still feeling sore about that goal that was NEVER off-side.

What’s invisible and smells like zombies? Zombie farts!


This creepy collection of ghoulish gags and haunting howlers will have the whole family cackling in no time – guaranteed to tickle your funny bones!

We’re not implying anything but…

It’s time for a bit of no-nonsense advice in the form of some choice expletive-laden life lessons. This small but f*cking mighty tome is just the tonic to set you on the path to being an awesome human, and will teach YOU how not to be a D*CK.