Search Results for: Gift and Humour

‘At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober… Disappoint them.’

Older, Wiser, Sexier brings together the best of Bev Williams’ cheeky but charming cartoons to create the perfect gift for that person in your life who may be getting on a bit but certainly isn’t past it.

It might have been fun and games once to have adventures, make catapults or learn about fossils, but what about now you are starting to feel a bit fossilised yourself? You just know you are going to suffer a ghastly accident if you attempt to make a tree house.
The Deranged Book for Old-timers offers advice on life’s more sedate pleasures, from the afternoon snooze to how to twitch curtains properly. With a guide to being a grumpy codger and a Zimmer frame Kama Sutra, this book is full of delightfully dotty things to do. Yes, we are going to grow old, but we are going to make sure we do it disgracefully.

TIMELY ADVICE FOR A MILESTONE BIRTHDAY.

So what if you’re 50; after all, with age comes wisdom and more excuses to reminisce about old times and stare blankly at your friends while you try to remember their names, and at least you’re not 60! This book is packed with celebratory quotations to help you shrug your shoulders, blow out the candles and Keep Calm.

‘‘Never eat healthy food. We so need all the preservatives we can get”

The hilarious Spring Chicken greeting card range has brought wry smiles to the faces of millions. Older, Wiser, Sexier brings together the best of the cheeky but charming cartoons books to create the perfect gift for that person in your life who may be getting on a bit but certainly isn’t past it.

You may now be bored of the novelty of a free bus pass, hair may be growing in unusual places and you’ll never make it through the late night feature without nodding off.

On the bright side, you can look forward to tearing up the pavement on your own top-of-the-range mobility scooter.

Brace yourself… 60 is approaching!
It’s time to face the facts – even though you might not feel it, you’re decidedly more O.A.P. than V.I.P. But don’t trade your custard creams for the cod-liver oil just yet, because there’s plenty more fun to be had. This cheerful little book, full of tongue-in-cheek advice, will put some swagger in your step for many years to come! 

Brace yourself… 50 is approaching!
There’s no denying it – you’ve officially got ‘a few years’ under your belt (and possibly a few extra notches on it). But don’t trade your party gear for a pair of slippers just yet, because there’s plenty more fun to be had. This cheerful little book, full of tongue-in-cheek advice, will help you carry on strutting your stuff for many years to come!

Brace yourself… 40 is approaching!
Once your thirties are behind you, there are no excuses left – you’re indisputably ‘experienced’, certifiably ‘mature’. But don’t trade that margarita for a mug of cocoa just yet, because there’s plenty more fun to be had. This cheerful little book, full of tongue-in-cheek advice, will help keep your mojo working for many years to come!

You may be too late to take up pole dancing and the closest thing you get to extreme sports these days is prising the top off a ketchup bottle.

On the bright side, you can now lie back and take it easy – just not so far back that you can’t get up again. And it’s only 20 years before you get that telegram from the Queen!

A hilarious illustrated guide to getting older – the perfect gift to celebrate this impressive milestone birthday

Well, look at you! Congratulations! You’re 60 years young! I said CONGRATULATIONS, DEAR! YOU’RE 60 YEARS YOUNG!

Life may now involve going to more funerals than weddings, and your idea of multi-tasking is probably sleeping and not dribbling at the same time. But, on the bright side, you can get away with making no effort whatsoever to lose weight. And all those charities you gave to – it’s payback time!

This book will help you think positively, with things like this to look forward to:
– You’ll be able to enjoy a nice, long, well-earned rest – and that’s just after walking up the stairs.
– You’ll be truly bewildered the first time you bend down to see if you can still touch your toes and then forget what you went down there for.

And you’ll learn invaluable tips like:
– Paint your neck so those skin-folds look like a trendy scarf.
– Wear the psychedelic fashions of your youth – not only will people see you coming, it’ll be easier for you to find your clothes in the dark.

Here’s to the next 60 years!

You may never now become a rock star or regain the waist size you had at 18. You have taken a sudden interest in bleeding your radiators and figuring out the best route by road to anywhere in the country.

On the bright side, you can feel smug that you have better grammar than a university student and don’t have to dig out your embarrassing passport photo to get into pubs or buy alcohol.

We all know that the written word is full of traps for the unwary, and this goes double for those in their early years of learning it. An earnest attempt at constructing a beautiful, articulate sentence can fall to pieces within the space of a few letters, sometimes with hilarious consequences!

Enjoy this collection of side-splitting spelling slip-ups ranging from the charming to the ridiculous, and the cute to the unintentionally X-rated!

Exams have never been so hilarious! Banish the horror of school days with this bumper edition of the world’s best pupils. Bursting with misunderstandings, misspellings and spirited, if ultimately incorrect, answers, this collection brings together the most head-scratching, side-splitting examples from the F in Exams series.

‘Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.’
Henry David Thoreau
Host an air guitar tournament for your friends and family.
Learn origami. Fold all your £10 notes into swans and pay with them.
Cartwheel down the street.
Tell nothing but the truth all day.
Prepare for a grand adventure, instigate a little mischief and embrace a sunnier outlook with this book of feel-good quotations and quirky ideas that will keep you smiling all year.

The rumours are true – it’s great to be grey!

So what if the last tweet you had was from your pet budgie; he makes more sense than young people these days anyway. And at least you don’t have to worry about having the latest gadget or keeping a trim waistline anymore. So cast off the cares of youth and join the ranks of those who are glad to be grey.

‘You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.’
John Mendoza

You might be getting a bit thin on top, plump at the middle and creaky around the knees, but that doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten how to enjoy yourself! This collection of witty quotations, light-hearted yarns and cheerful jokes will help you chalk that last ‘senior moment’ down to experience, forget the grey hairs and the twinges, and celebrate getting older with a smile on your face and a twinkle in your wrinkle.

You know you’re having a senior moment when you decide it’s time to pull up your socks – and realize you forgot to put any on!

Age is just a number and you’re only as old as you feel, but if you’re heading into your golden years and you’re certifiably “no spring chicken”, you might benefit from browsing through the pages of this tongue-in-cheek book to help you decide if your marbles just need a polish or you’ve well and truly lost them!

Inside you’ll find examples of classic “senior moments”, such as:

– Ringing a friend to ask them for their phone number.
– Getting annoyed at the fact that your all-in-one remote won’t open your garage door.
– Going to the store for milk and coming home with a new dog collar, rawl plugs, some plant pots that were on special offer… but no milk.
– Feeling frustrated by your computer’s instructions to “press any key”, when there’s no “Any” key on your keyboard.
With a sprinkling of reassuring quotes from fellow old-timers, this collection will help you see the funny side of getting older (but not necessarily wiser).

Strictly for grown-ups!

This saucy selection of puzzles puts the tease in brain-teasers, and makes a racy replacement for life’s idle moments

Put down your phone, tablet or smutty magazine and pick up this crude collection of conundrums and provocative puzzles. Whether you want to dive straight into the Bootylicious Bottoms Word Search, or even test your logic with a Raunchy Riddler, there are puzzles here to tickle a whole range of fancies.

Inside you will find a variety of juicy puzzles, including these:

– Shuffle the letters of anagrams to identify seriously smutty lingo
– Pair up the matching icons in the playful picture puzzles
– Test your knowledge of everything erotic with a range of titillating trivia
– Join up the dot-to-dots to discover some sensual sex positions
So, what are you waiting for? If you like the idea of puzzles that are a bit more naughty than they are nice, this is the perfect book for you.

Time for you and your partner to get hot under the collar with this saucy, sexy collection of naughty games for adults

Even if your sex life is already dynamite, you’ll find plenty of rude and raunchy fun inside this book to get your pulse racing and your pleasure centres tingling. Don’t settle for a “vanilla” time – go on a “Pleasure Hunt” for some “Good Vibrations” and get “Wet ‘N’ Wild” while you’re at it! These and many more super-stimulating games are included in this little volume, perfect for stashing in your bedside drawer next to the lube.

With delightfully detailed instructions – including a “You Will Need” list, Naughtiness Rating and Raunchy Rules – these games will take you on an erotic journey from Flirty Fun to Sex-Rated and along all the delicious avenues in between. Other game categories include:
– Sex for All Seasons
– Eat Me!
– Lights, Camera, Action
– Let’s Get Physical
– Holiday Hot Spots

It’s fun, it’s flirty and guaranteed to rock your boat – however you fly your flag.

‘Don’t let ageing get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.’
John Wagner

Like a valuable antique, maybe your smooth finish has become a little lined and your legs creak from time to time. But don’t worry: even if you no longer have all your original parts and nobody can find your instruction manual, it’s great to be vintage!

This joyful collection of quotations celebrates the lighter side of ageing, and shows that it really is the life in your years that counts.

Just like a valuable antique, your smooth finish may have become a little lined and your legs may creak from time to time. But don’t worry: even if you no longer have all your original parts and nobody can find your instruction manual, it’s great to be vintage!

Whether you’re a silver surfer or a golden oldie, you’ve still got what it takes (it just takes a little longer than it used to). Yes, there’s the memory loss, wrinkles and the receding hairline but you’re worldly-wise and have a lifetime of anecdotes to show for it all. And besides, we’ll all be old-timers one day – but today it’s your turn!

Full of senior sagacity and elderly erudition, this spirited and joyful collection of quotes and musings about our latter years celebrates the lighter side of ageing. Encouraging you to laugh, embrace and love the ride, this book will show you that it really is the life in your years that counts.

You make me complete
There’s nobody quite like your special someone, so say it with this little book! Filled with a collection of heartfelt words to describe the many things, big and small, that you love about your partner, it’s the perfect way to tell them just how much they mean to you. 

… I can tell you anything.
… You make me laugh until I cry.
… We make the perfect team.

This sweet book of love tokens is the perfect way to tell your special someone why they’re so wonderful.

You can never know too much stuff. For example:
Today, the people of earth take more photos in two minutes than they did in the whole of the nineteenth century. When the Mona Lisa was stolen from the Louvre museum in Paris in 1911, one of the suspects was Pablo Picasso. The surface area of Russia is larger than the surface area of Pluto. This outrageously informative book is packed full of fascinating nuggets of history, science, literature, technology, sports, geography, culture and miscellanea from every corner of the world – enough mind-blowing trivia to ensure you’re never short of a jaw-dropping conversation starter (or stopper) again.