Search Results for: Gift and Humour

Have you stopped getting your freak on and started getting your creak on?

Do your hobbies now include ‘napping’, ‘relaxing’ and ‘having a quiet one’? Have you found you’ve more in common with your nan than your peers? It sounds like you’re OLD AF! Get out your fun slippers and sit back with this collection of hilarious quips and too-true quotes for the old at heart.

Put the phone down.
Back away from the Tinder.
Some people should just never be allowed on online dating…
Dating apps were invented to make finding a potential match a breeze – you can do it from the comfort of your own home! In your pyjamas! But for some people, the instant, no-effort-required nature of online dating (and the fact that you can’t get punched in the face for a dodgy chat-up line) brings out their worst side.
From cringeworthy conversation starters to lines that ramp up the rudeness from 0-100 in nanoseconds, the best of the worst ever chat-up fails are collected here for your reading pleasure.
Note: Unfortunately you can’t swipe left on these conversations.

Packed with essential advice for everyone from flirting first-timers to anyone looking for some fresh dating inspiration

Whether you choose to treat your flirting talents as a delicate science or simply as a fun way to meet new people, this pocket guide will set you well on your way to charming the socks off anyone you set your sights on.

From chat-up lines and online-dating nopes to first-date ideas and etiquette, these pages will arm you with all the flirting know-how you could ever need, including:

– Tips and tricks to boost your self-confidence before a first date
– How to make a good first impression
– Where to meet like-minded people and how to get noticed
– Non-verbal ways to say “I fancy the pants off you!”
– Charming conversation openers

Delving into the exhilarating world of hook-ups, internet dating and real-life dates, this book is the perfect companion on your journey to becoming a world-class flirt.

Dive into this book of hilarious and relatable memes as told by the internet’s favourite animal: cats!

For life’s every up and down, there’s a meme to capture the feeling – and with their sassy personalities, their endless curiosity and their distinct capacity for being that little bit odd, who better to live these moments with us than our cuddly feline friends?

You might not realize it, but some of the everyday moments in our lives are actually universal – and these cats are here to tell it like it is.

Have you ever experienced:

– The awkward moment someone says “Just smile naturally” and you forget what natural is?
– The moment you accidentally open the front-facing camera and you’re confronted with your many chins?
– The flash of terror when you’re home alone and you hear an odd noise?
– The satisfaction of walking in time to your music?
– The crushing awkwardness of saying “you too” when a waiter tells you to enjoy your meal?
If you answered “yes” to any of the above, then this book is for you! Look no further and dive into this collection, which contains the most hilarious and relatable memes about life, told through the expressive brilliance of cats.

This hilarious instruction book is here to help you accept that being a dog parent is not a choice, but a lifestyle

Your dog rules your home and your heart. You bend over backwards to cater to their quirks. In fact, you would do anything for your pampered pup. So why is it that they treat your toilet like a cocktail bar, ruin your lawn with their antics, or scoot their butt across the floor when you have guests?

Luckily, this no-nonsense survival guide is on hand to help you navigate canine parenthood. Whether you need to learn to never leave food unattended, that they will always choose puddle water over fresh, or simply to understand that there is never an acceptable excuse for showing affection to any other living creature, these pearls of wisdom are sure to make you an elite dog parent in no time.

Filled with original illustrations and tongue-in-cheek advice, this sneak peek into the world behind those puppy-dog eyes will make the perfect gift for any dog lover.

A hilarious, fully illustrated book full of tongue-in-cheek advice for surviving life as a dog parent – the perfect gift for any dog lover

You have the best dog in the world, it’s true. But there’s no avoiding the fact that, perfect and adorable as they may be, there are certain elements of being a pup owner that you could do without. That smell they bring in when they’ve rolled in fox poo. The nibble-marks on your furniture. Their fur stuck to absolutely every black item of clothing you own.

Luckily, this no-nonsense guide is here to teach you all the tricks you’ll ever need to help you navigate life with your furry friend, so you can focus on the positives – like giving them head-scritches and nose-boops every time they prove they’re a good doggo at heart.

With pearls of wisdom like these, you’ll be a pro dog parent in no time:

– Remember to check the dog is in the room before blaming it for your fart
– It is a truth universally acknowledged that a dog in possession of a healthy libido must be in want of a leg
– Start working on your mental toughness – those puppy-dog eyes are enough to break even the iciest of hearts

A fully illustrated book of tongue-in-cheek advice for cat parents who struggle to tame their cat’s inner beast

Having a cat can be such a joy. Little compares to the delight of cuddles on the couch, the sound of gentle purring, or the fun of playtime. But what do you do when your furry friend starts scratching all the furniture, ruining the flower beds, stealing your food and generally wreaking havoc?

Luckily, this entertaining guide is here with top tips and tricks to tame your cat when the wild beast comes out, so you can spend more time giving head scritches and less time worrying about the state of your curtains.

Become an elite cat parent with these nuggets of wisdom:
– If you’re worried about items crashing to the floor, attach ornaments with string and they won’t make such a satisfying “THUNK” noise
– City cats love the daily discipline of being taken for a walk; give it a try and observe the calming effect it has on them
– Install a security-grade toilet-paper guard to avoid unsolicited homemade confetti

Oh dear. It seems that our furry friends have picked up some very bad language –just what exactly do those vets say to our pets in the consulting room when we’re not there?

From gutter-mouthed guppies to Fidos that say ‘f***!’, Foul-Mouthed Pets combines comical and cute photos with inappropriate captions to tickle the belly of animal lovers everywhere.

Britain’s best-loved canine hero for almost half a century returns in another annual collection of the best from the Daily Mail’s popular strip. With humour drier than a dog biscuit, Fred’s cheeky antics and his astute comments on modern life will keep you entertained all year.

Time: 10+ minutes to play
Number of players: 2+
Ages: 5+
Includes: 52 cards, plus 8 gameplay instruction cards
Assembly required? No
Batteries required? No

What could be more fun than playing with poop?
Here’s a deck of cards like no other, and the smiliest (and smelliest) poop friends you’re ever likely to meet. With instructions on toilet-themed games to play, including Smelly Families, Go Poop and Constipation (formerly Patience), games nights will never be the same!

Time: 60+ minutes to play

Number of players: 2+

Ages: 18+

Includes: 79 cards, plus 1 instruction card

Assembly required? No

Batteries required? No

Warning: Not suitable for persons under 18 years. For adult use only.

Play the game, if you dare…

Are you ready for some X-rated fun? This sinful stack of rude and raunchy dares is guaranteed to get tongues wagging and set pulses racing. Nights out (or in) will never be the same.

Hamish decided to call his father-in-law ‘The Exorcist’ because every time he came to visit he made the spirits disappear.
If you’re Scottish, you like a wee joke. Aye, and you can take one just as well. Packed with the very best one-liners and yarns from the land of the brave, The Little Book of Scottish Jokes will get you guffawing in no time.

‘You remind me of a parking ticket. You’ve got fine, written all over you.’

Have you ever been surrounded by hotties and stuck for an opening line? From Classic Romantic to Speed Seduction, plus Killer Put-downs and Hot Tips on body language and online dating, this is the only ammunition you’ll need to get started with the opposite sex.

Remember that everything matters – but nothing matters that much.
Turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones and skip your way to the other side.
Life has a habit of surprising us – with joy, with sadness, with anger, with bafflement, and with situations that can fall anywhere along the whole rainbow of human emotion. What we need most often is a simple reminder to help us gain perspective, to provide comfort, companionship, and a compass when we are lost. This book is a treasure trove of powerful, pragmatic advice to help you face life head on, with humour, integrity and kindness, and maybe even to help others along the way too.

Bursting with puzzles, quizzes, trivia and games, this dad-tastic annual packs in hours of fun for fathers everywhere!

Whether you’re keen to know where you rank on the leader board of all-time “cool dads”, want to try your hand at some perplexing puzzles or you just want to add some new dad-dancing moves to your already extensive repertoire, this annual does it all!

Includes:
– Dad style guides
– Delicious “dad recipes”
– Fascinating fact files
– A compendium of conundrums to solve

… and much, much more!

A wittily illustrated collection of incredible facts, perfect for lovers of strange-but-true trivia

What a weird and wonderful world we live in. Countries banning letters of the alphabet, the accidental teabag, and have you ever wondered how much horsepower a horse actually has? Well, you’ll be amazed and amused by the revelations and illustrations inside this book of fascinating facts – I shit you not.

From bestselling author and professional brain-teaser Hugh Jassburn, this quick-fire collection of unbelievable truths includes such insights as:

– A strawberry is not technically a berry, but a banana is
– There are twice as many kangaroos in Australia as people
– Baby tiger sharks eat each other in the womb until only one or two sharks are born
– 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
A superb addition to anyone’s bedside table or bathroom library, this book could help you win at your next quiz or at least give you a bunch of fun facts to spout when you’re out and about.

Discover cock-the-differences, cock-tastic colouring and all kinds of phallic fun with this ever-so-slightly naughty activity book

Put down your phone, tablet or newspaper and pick up Cock-a-Doodle, an activity book with a devilish difference. Within these colourful pages you will find word searches, spot-the-differences and much more puzzling pleasure, all centred around one thing: the cock!

Written and illustrated by Jason Murphy, author of Spot the Cock, this book includes a raft of intricately detailed full-colour activities, including cock-based colouring, creative cut-outs and dick-themed doodle pages. And what’s more, there’s a hidden cock to be found nestled within each spread.

Hone your sleuthing skills as you search for the one-eyed trouser snake across a range of hilarious scenarios, including:
– Tucked within the sock drawer spot-the-difference game
– Hidden among the sprinkles of the delicious donut search-and-find puzzle
– Carefully concealed in the mushroom patch colouring activity

Vajayjay. Lady bits. Notorious V.A.G.

It’s time we talked about vaginas. This pocket-sized book is here to debunk the myths and help you gain a better understanding of everything you were never taught, including:
– The amazing things the vagina does from puberty to menopause
– Advice on the most common complaints and how best to alleviate them
– The vagina in pop culture – from the page to the stage

This succinct and celebratory guide separates fact from fiction and will change the way you think and talk about your wonder down under.

Britain’s best-loved basset hound returns in this all-new collection of witty cartoon strips from the Daily Mail

Keep an eye on any unguarded sausages, because the gang is back! Join Fred and his friends as they embark on a whole new collection of lively adventures and light-hearted mischief, and prepare to discover the delights of life on four paws.

Fred Basset first sauntered onto the pages of the Daily Mail in July 1963, and over more than half a century he has made himself a household name with readers all over the world. Nearly six decades after his debut, Fred and his friends continue to delight and entertain us with their trademark mix of wholesome humour, wry wit and shrewd observation. Their familiar faces and new adventures offer readers a source of comfort, contentment and amusement in our increasingly hectic, fast-paced world.

This is classic Fred Basset and an essential read for all fans.

Strap yourself in for a barrel of laughs and a party to remember with this incredible collection of booze-based games from around the world.

This comprehensive guide gives you all the essentials required to play, including difficulty ratings, a “what you need” section and clear game instructions.

Don’t worry if you’re new to drinking games – all you need is a generous amount of your favourite alcoholic drink, a few common household items and the desire for some outrageous fun with your friends.

But this is no ordinary collection of boozy shenanigans – it contains the collective knowledge of beer chuggers, gin swiggers and wine sippers from across the globe. Learn how to wear “Chicken Goggles” like the Aussies, beat the Brits at “The Horse Race” and “Slip It In” like an American.

And that’s not all: while you’re waiting for your turn, you can distract and amuse yourself with one of the many random drinking facts and myths found throughout the book – that is, if the room isn’t already spinning.

Forget “Beer Pong” – these are the world’s CRAZIEST drinking games!

What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded?
He sent on his subs.
God and the devil were having an argument, and Satan proposed a football game between heaven and hell to resolve the dispute.
God, in his eternal goodness, pointed out that it wouldn’t be a fair match because all the ‘good’ players go to heaven.
The devil smiled, replying, ‘Yes, but we’ve got all the refs.’
Football is obviously very serious business – like when that disallowed goal was ‘never off-side’, and that was ‘totally a dive’ – but it’s a funny old game really. This compendium of hilarious jokes will help you see the lighter side when your team is showing you up, and give your mates a good chuckle at the celebrations when they win. 

Do you have a feeling of distant, creeping dread that everyone knows what they’re doing and you don’t?

This handy how-to guide has all the tips, tricks and diagrams to let you into the secrets of adulthood, whether it’s finding the time to eat more than two vegetables a day, knowing how to fix a tear in your fave shirt or saving enough money to go on holiday without starving to death first.

An essential introduction to surviving in the big, wild world, this book will help you put the ‘fun’ into ‘functioning adult’.

The popular party game we all know and love is just about to get a lot more interesting!

Strictly for over 18s, Adult Charades is bulging with hilarious ideas for TV shows, films, books, songs and much, much more, for you and your friends to act out in all their glorious detail.

With content including ‘Die Hard’ and a ‘Slow Comfortable Screw’ cocktail, you’re certain to be in stitches with this compendium of saucy and innuendo-laden suggestions!

Do you want to know more about the fight for women’s rights, what we’ve achieved and how we got there?

This helpful little guide will teach you the history, theory, big issues and everything you need to know to become a CARD-CARRYING FEMINIST.