Search Results for: Gift and Humour

THE FAIRY TALE IS OVER


Are you sick of sickly sweet magical creatures and their fluffy outlook on life? So are these UNICORNS! See what really goes on behind the scenes in their MARSHMALLOW CANDYLAND – it’s weird, it’s twisted and it’s HILARIOUS. These unicorns are off duty and OFF THE SCALE!

Put the phone down.
Back away from the Tinder.
Some people should just never be allowed on online dating…
Dating apps were invented to make finding a potential match a breeze – you can do it from the comfort of your own home! In your pyjamas! But for some people, the instant, no-effort-required nature of online dating (and the fact that you can’t get punched in the face for a dodgy chat-up line) brings out their worst side.
From cringeworthy conversation starters to lines that ramp up the rudeness from 0-100 in nanoseconds, the best of the worst ever chat-up fails are collected here for your reading pleasure.
Note: Unfortunately you can’t swipe left on these conversations.

Have you stopped getting your freak on and started getting your creak on?

Do your hobbies now include ‘napping’, ‘relaxing’ and ‘having a quiet one’? Have you found you’ve more in common with your nan than your peers? It sounds like you’re OLD AF! Get out your fun slippers and sit back with this collection of hilarious quips and too-true quotes for the old at heart.

You know you’re having a senior moment when…

… you need a pen and paper just to order a round of drinks.


Getting old? Join the club! This upbeat collection of all-too-common mishaps, sprinkled with quotes from wise old sages, will have you nodding in agreement and chuckling at all your lovable foibles.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? The grandchildren.

It’s one of the few phrases guaranteed to fill you with both delight and dread – the grandchildren are coming! Of course you love to see them, but what do you do with them for the next few hours – or even days?

Thankfully, this book is here to guide you through. Choose from a whole host of delights:
– Games old and new
– Magic tricks that even you won’t be able to mess up
– Jokes that will make you the first sit-down stand-up comedian

The hours will fly by and, with any luck, you’ll have just as much fun as they do!

Packed with essential advice for everyone from flirting first-timers to anyone looking for some fresh dating inspiration

Whether you choose to treat your flirting talents as a delicate science or simply as a fun way to meet new people, this pocket guide will set you well on your way to charming the socks off anyone you set your sights on.

From chat-up lines and online-dating nopes to first-date ideas and etiquette, these pages will arm you with all the flirting know-how you could ever need, including:

– Tips and tricks to boost your self-confidence before a first date
– How to make a good first impression
– Where to meet like-minded people and how to get noticed
– Non-verbal ways to say “I fancy the pants off you!”
– Charming conversation openers

Delving into the exhilarating world of hook-ups, internet dating and real-life dates, this book is the perfect companion on your journey to becoming a world-class flirt.

You won’t find a more loyal and loveable friend than you will in your dog. But if you’re going to cope with its boundless energy, its insatiable appetite and its total disregard for social niceties, you’re going to need survival skills:
Think positively: You will get more exercise than ever before (whether you like it or not)
Reassure yourself: The ‘mad puppy’ behaviour should wear off after 15 years or so.
This mischievous little book will help guide you through your role as a dog owner with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.

Combining retro photographs with witty captions and quotes, this little book is the perfect way to celebrate becoming Officially Old.

To celebrate the two-hundredth anniversary of Charles Dickens’ birth in 1812, What Would Dickens Do? brings together the thoughts of some of his best-loved and most-maligned characters, as well as his own opinions, and answers age-old questions which continue to perplex the finest minds of today: ‘Can destiny be changed?’, ‘Is society in decline?’, and ‘How should you celebrate your freedom after being stuck in a chimney?’

If you find yourself facing hard times, trying to deal with other people’s great expectations, or going home every night to a bleak house, look inside for words of comfort and guidance from one of the greatest writers of all time.
 

About the Author

Why did the golfer’s wife ask to be buried on the golf course?

So she could be sure her husband would visit her grave.

After a long day on the fairway, put away the patterned jumper and five-iron and laugh off the double-bogeys with this selection of hysterical jokes. Golf’s Funniest Jokes will suit golf fanatics to a tee.

‘Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.’
Henry David Thoreau
Host an air guitar tournament for your friends and family.
Learn origami. Fold all your £10 notes into swans and pay with them.
Cartwheel down the street.
Tell nothing but the truth all day.
Prepare for a grand adventure, instigate a little mischief and embrace a sunnier outlook with this book of feel-good quotations and quirky ideas that will keep you smiling all year.

Patient: Doctor, I think I’m a cricket ball!

Doctor: Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon.

Crammed full of hilarious cricketing jokes from players and pundits alike, Cricket’s Funniest Jokes will bowl over any fan of the gentleman’s game – guaranteed to raise a laugh when you’re stumped or when rain stops play.

If you can keep your head when all about are losing theirs, it’s just possible you haven’t grasped the situation.’ Jean Kerr
 
Bad Advice for Good People.
 
Keep Calm and Carry On is all very well, but life just isn’t that simple. Let’s own up and face facts: we’re getting older, the politicians are not getting any wiser, and the world’s going to hell in a handbasket. It’s time to panic.

Here’s a book packed with quotations proving that Keeping Calm is simply not an option.

Don’t get mad; get over it. That’s the advice of Vicky Edwards, a woman who has been chucked more often than a kebab and one too many pints on a Friday night. Practical and funny, this book will help you to dust yourself down and start all over again while you’re going through the emotional turbulence of being dumped, before leading you gently back into the dating game with your confidence restored and a new and positive attitude to life and love. Interspersed with quotations, inspirational thoughts and affirmations this handbag-friendly book also includes special heartbreak therapies such as Virtual Revenge, Credit Card Calming, Safe Spleen Venting and Anger Management for the Pyromaniac. Perfect as a gift for a friend in need or as a personal survival guide, there’s plenty within these covers to help you forget about being under the duvet with your Ex.

Beer is the world’s most popular alcoholic drink – a joygiving, convivial, nutritious and delicious gift from nature and possibly the most diverse alcoholic libation with over 100 different styles and thousands of brands. This book, written by a leading beer sommelier, not only delves into the rich history of beer production and drinking but contains practical advice and explanations of beer styles, which ones to drink and why, food-matching suggestions, and the not-to-be-missed best beers in the world. There’s no better accompaniment to the perfect pint.

Everyone needs a boost once in a while and this bright little book, bursting with inspiring quotes and uplifting statements, is the perfect pick-me-up. It’s the perfect gift to let your favourite person know to keep doing what they’re doing and be who they are, ‘cause they rock!

Vajayjay. Lady bits. Notorious V.A.G.

It’s time we talked about vaginas. This pocket-sized book is here to debunk the myths and help you gain a better understanding of everything you were never taught, including:
– The amazing things the vagina does from puberty to menopause
– Advice on the most common complaints and how best to alleviate them
– The vagina in pop culture – from the page to the stage

This succinct and celebratory guide separates fact from fiction and will change the way you think and talk about your wonder down under.

Who says unicorns aren’t real?
Life’s never dull when you have a unicorn by your side. These sparkly friends bring magic into our lives, from the tips of their magical horns to the swishy ends of their rainbow tails. Enter the awesomely cute world of unicorns, and whatever anyone says – don’t stop believing!

‘The smallest feline is a masterpiece.’
Leonardo da Vinci
This pocket-sized miscellany, packed with fascinating facts, heart-warming stories and inspiring quotes about cats, is perfect for anyone who knows the incomparable joy of hearing the soothing purr of a feline companion.

This pocket-sized miscellany, packed with fascinating facts, amusing anecdotes and captivating stories and quotes from the world of rugby, is perfect for anyone who knows the incomparable joy of picking up the ball and running with it.

Whether your dilemma is something as simple as a what to have for dinner or you are trying to make a life-changing decision, the Poetry First Aid Kit has the answer. Seek a solution within these stanzas and let the enlightening limericks and illuminating iambic pentameter help you resolve the dilemmas in your life.

The rumours are true – it’s great to be grey!

So what if the last tweet you had was from your pet budgie; he makes more sense than young people these days anyway. And at least you don’t have to worry about having the latest gadget or keeping a trim waistline anymore. So cast off the cares of youth and join the ranks of those who are glad to be grey.

There’s a lot to think about between the moment you say ‘Yes!’ and the moment you say ‘I do’. With advice on everything from picking the ideal venue to creative ideas for your wedding cake, this little book is the perfect companion to planning the wedding of your dreams.

The question has been popped, the ring has been presented and the celebrations have begun! What’s next? Just the wedding.

Top Tips for Grooms presents ingenious ideas for the any groom-to-be, covering the ever-so-stressful months preceding the wedding – including surviving your stag party and choosing your outfit – to the big day itself.