Search Results for: Gift and Humour

A hilarious illustrated guide to getting older – the perfect gift to celebrate this impressive milestone birthday

Well, look at you! Congratulations! You’re 60 years young! I said CONGRATULATIONS, DEAR! YOU’RE 60 YEARS YOUNG!

Life may now involve going to more funerals than weddings, and your idea of multi-tasking is probably sleeping and not dribbling at the same time. But, on the bright side, you can get away with making no effort whatsoever to lose weight. And all those charities you gave to – it’s payback time!

This book will help you think positively, with things like this to look forward to:
– You’ll be able to enjoy a nice, long, well-earned rest – and that’s just after walking up the stairs.
– You’ll be truly bewildered the first time you bend down to see if you can still touch your toes and then forget what you went down there for.

And you’ll learn invaluable tips like:
– Paint your neck so those skin-folds look like a trendy scarf.
– Wear the psychedelic fashions of your youth – not only will people see you coming, it’ll be easier for you to find your clothes in the dark.

Here’s to the next 60 years!

Banter like a bowsered giflurt and swear like a sparrow-mouthed snick fadger with the help of this illustrated dictionary of long-lost words and phrases.

This crude and quirky volume contains the most amusing vocabulary from the murky Middle English of Chaucer right up to the more eloquent but equally obscure parlances of the early 1900s – essential for all lovers of weird and wonderful wordage!

Swearing is an art form, and with this handy collection of obscenities you can be the Picasso of profanity. Bursting with obnoxious insults and filthy names for unmentionable acts, The Little Book of Rude Words will leave you shocked and tickled by how creatively crude our language can be.

Whether you want to impress your friends with your London lingo, or simply to understand what the characters on EastEnders are talking about, The Little Book of Cockney Rhyming Slang is packed with all the words you’ll ever need. It’ll be perfect when you’re on the dog and bone to your best china plates, or down the rub-a-dub with your trouble and strife.

You may now be bored of the novelty of a free bus pass, hair may be growing in unusual places and you’ll never make it through the late night feature without nodding off.

On the bright side, you can look forward to tearing up the pavement on your own top-of-the-range mobility scooter.

Brace yourself… 60 is approaching!
It’s time to face the facts – even though you might not feel it, you’re decidedly more O.A.P. than V.I.P. But don’t trade your custard creams for the cod-liver oil just yet, because there’s plenty more fun to be had. This cheerful little book, full of tongue-in-cheek advice, will put some swagger in your step for many years to come! 

Brace yourself… 50 is approaching!
There’s no denying it – you’ve officially got ‘a few years’ under your belt (and possibly a few extra notches on it). But don’t trade your party gear for a pair of slippers just yet, because there’s plenty more fun to be had. This cheerful little book, full of tongue-in-cheek advice, will help you carry on strutting your stuff for many years to come!

Brace yourself… 40 is approaching!
Once your thirties are behind you, there are no excuses left – you’re indisputably ‘experienced’, certifiably ‘mature’. But don’t trade that margarita for a mug of cocoa just yet, because there’s plenty more fun to be had. This cheerful little book, full of tongue-in-cheek advice, will help keep your mojo working for many years to come!

See the funny side of ageing with this collection of amusing observations, silly suggestions and humorous illustrations – the perfect gift for any birthday girl or boy with more than a few candles on their cake

So you’re a little bit older. So what? Just because you’re getting on a bit doesn’t mean you have to start acting ancient. The universe is over 13 billion years old, and you’re probably nowhere near that yet – well, not quite anyway.

Frankly, it’s never too early to start enjoying your second childhood, to stop taking life so seriously and to start acting a bit silly again. This book will be your go-to guide for inspiration and merriment while clocking up birthdays like they’re going out of fashion.

Across these pages, you’ll find all kinds of wild recommendations and questionable advice, including:
– Things it’s never too late to do
– Grown-up and less grown-up ways to behave at work
– How to keep up with modern technology
– Ways you can blend in with younger people
– Things you can have tantrums about as you get older

So forget the creaking joints or fleeing follicles and embrace the opportunities for mischief and mirth – after all, growing old doesn’t mean growing up!

Did you know?
Salvador Dali sometimes wore a perfume of fish glue and cow dung to attract his then girlfriend, Gala.

Have you heard, seen or read about something so bizarre and incredible that it leaves you bamboozled for the rest of the day? No? Then you haven’t read Weird Sh!t. 

This eclectic and eccentric mix of news stories, events, concepts and conceits reveals a world removed from reality as you know it. Prepare to depart from this seemingly conventional life and arrive at a destination full of downright weird and wonderful shit.

You may never now become a rock star or regain the waist size you had at 18. You have taken a sudden interest in bleeding your radiators and figuring out the best route by road to anywhere in the country.

On the bright side, you can feel smug that you have better grammar than a university student and don’t have to dig out your embarrassing passport photo to get into pubs or buy alcohol.

It’s time to embrace the slower pace!

There’s no denying it – you’re OLD, but that comes with a lot of perks. You can say the most outrageous things and somehow get away with it. You can dress however you damn well please. And after learning from so many mistakes, you’re now as wise as you are wizened. It’s your time to recline, and this hilarious book will show you how it’s done.

You know you’re a rugby fanatic when…
… your Facebook profile photo is a close-up of your latest injury.
… you own more replica shirts than work ones.
If this sounds all too familiar, read one to discover whether you’re truly obsessed with the odd-shaped ball or just one player short of a scrum!

Marking, planning, stealing colleagues’ milk – teaching has always been a difficult job. Now, with this outrageous catalogue of teaching aids, the times educational miscreant shares his unique approach to many of teaching’s most taxing problems.

Whether it’s marking coursework by weight with Coursework Scales, or planning lessons with the Page-Choosing Money Box, The Art of Teaching is an absolute must for the conscientious teaching professional.

Featuring comedic captions, relatable memes and a collection of the world’s funniest felines, this book is the purr-fect gift for connoisseurs of hilarious cat content

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that cats are some of the funniest animals on the planet. From contorting themselves into strange shapes, to pulling bizarre expressions, to cramming themselves into tiny cardboard boxes, wherever there’s a cat there’s always something weird and wonderful to be seen.

Funny Cats is here to chronicle these important moments of absurdity. Within its pages, you’ll find:

– A selection of ridiculous cats in high-quality photo form
– Witty captions to make you laugh out loud
– Priceless expressions and relatable memes for all the moments you thought you were the only one (but realized you weren’t)
There is simply no end to the nonsense that cats are capable of – and this book is here to celebrate, honour and cherish that fact.

Britain’s best-loved canine hero for almost half a century returns in another annual collection of the best from the Daily Mail’s popular strip. With humour drier than a dog biscuit, Fred’s cheeky antics and his astute comments on modern life will keep you entertained all year.

What seems to be the problem?

Your job is rewarding, but if you’re going to be faced with the horrors of the human body, you’re going to need survival skills:
Think positively: At least you aren’t suffering from these ailments. Well, not yet…
Reassure yourself: One day you will be able to retire – assuming you survive that long.

This mischievous little book will help see you through your years as a doctor with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.

Tips and ideas to help you survive your uni years, from freshers week to final exams

You’ve been waiting for the time you head off to university since you started school and now that you’ve got the grades (well done!), and a place on your chosen course, you’re so close to experiencing student life. Helping you to make the most of your time there, this little book is packed with information and advice, including:

– Household hacks such as how to personalize your room
– Budget tips for making that student loan go further
– Studying tips – from note-taking to ways to beat exam stress
– DIY ideas for all your fancy-dress needs.
Whether your passion is society life, drinking shots or studying, your university experience will hold both new adventures and fresh challenges. This guide is packed with tips to help you survive and thrive at uni, from pulling an all-nighter in the library to an all-nighter at the club.

It’s time to wave goodbye to free home-cooked meals and say hello to freedom!

The future is ours – let’s enjoy it! This hilarious fully illustrated book will help ease you into this strange and perplexing new stage of your life.

After all those years of routine you’re suddenly free! You’re bound to be a bit nervous – it is your first time. No more being bossed about – well, apart from by your other half, of course. No more getting up at the crack of dawn to go to work – though at your age you may have to get up at the crack of dawn anyway to use the loo. No more wage slavery – er, no more wages…

But it’s going to be fine, because you can now do what you want to do – within reason, naturally. Within these pages you’ll discover:

– What your new job as “retiree” involves, the hours (all of them) and the pay (let’s face it, if anyone advertised a job with this salary, no one would take it)
– Conversations you will no longer have to have
– Things you no longer have to feel guilty about
– Pursuits for bored retirees
– Truths that will slowly dawn on you
– Ways to supplement your pension
…and all the other perks (and niggles) that come with your new position (and no, we don’t mean “horizontal on the sofa”).

It’s time to celebrate the end of an era – and the start of a whole new one!

Ah, retirement – from here on out it’s all lazy lie-ins, pleasant afternoons in the garden (or the garden centre), long lunches with friends and evenings spent in a comfy chair in front of the fire, right?

Wrong! Welcome to a world where you’re halfway to the office before you realize you don’t work there any more, you somehow seem to have even less free time than before to do all the things you need to do, and suddenly daytime TV seems a whole lot more appealing than it ever used to…

This indispensable handbook, packed with amusing illustrations, is here to guide you through the pleasures and pitfalls of being retired. Most importantly, though, it’ll teach you how to how to make sure you always get a decent afternoon nap.

This book is perfect gift for retirees, offering tongue-in-cheek advice on how to make the most of their new-found freedom.

Freedom at last! But there’s an awfully long time between cornflakes and cocoa, and a limit to how many sudokus you can do. You need survival skills:

FINANCIAL WIZARDRY: how to get three cups of tea out of one bag.
SPARKLING CONVERSATION: 300 different ways to discuss the weather.

This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your golden years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.

You know you’re a football fanatic when…
… your mobile ringtone sounds suspiciously like the theme tune for Match of the Day.
… you have your house carpeted in AstroTurf.
If this sounds all too familiar, read on to discover whether you’re truly obsessed with the beautiful game or just another armchair supporter.
 

Britain’s favourite basset hound is back again in this brand-new collection of witty cartoon strips from the Daily Mail

Fred Basset first sauntered onto the pages of the Daily Mail in July 1963, and over more than half a century he has made himself a household name with readers all over the world. Nearly six decades after his debut, Fred and his friends continue to delight and entertain us with their trademark mix of wholesome humour, wry wit and shrewd observation. Their familiar faces and new adventures offer readers a source of comfort, contentment and amusement in our increasingly hectic, fast-paced world.

Through all life’s ups and downs, Fred Basset is always here to lift our spirits. Join Fred and his lovable gang on and off the leash, as they indulge in their favourite activities – and chase plenty of rabbits, naturally.

This is classic Fred Basset and an essential read for all fans.