Search Results for: Gift and Humour

Jack brort a cak to school and we all had a pis

Captin Cok was a famos exploder

I found a spare seal so I quickly sat on it

Children are at their funniest when they are trying to be serious, and their earnest attempts at mastering the English language are a veritable goldmine of unintentional humour, from the charming to the ludicrous, and from the profound to the downright X-rated. Enjoy this side-splitting collection of spelling slip-ups and homework howlers.

‘What would you be if you weren’t Irish?’ asked the barman.


Pat replied, ‘Ashamed!’


There are two types of people in this world: the Irish, and those who wish they were. But wherever you’re from, The Little Book of Irish Jokes is packed with grand gags and Celtic wisecracks that will give you the gift of the gab and a belly full of laughs.

The F in Exams are over, the results are in and just when you thought it was safe to go back in the classroom… BANG! It’s time for F in Retakes!



Enjoy another heady dose of hilarious answers that canny students have given to the trickiest exam questions.

Ahh, glorious school days… It’s no wonder they went so quickly with all the exams, the classroom fun, the sticky situations to get out of, the work to avoid and the teachers to annoy. Enjoy this new collection of hilarious exam answers, along with schoolyard jokes, amusing doodles, silly excuses, spelling slip-ups and loads more!

Child: Dad, I’m hungry
Dad: Hello hungry, I’m Dad!
Celebrate the sense of humour that’s so bad it’s great with this ultimate collection of dad jokes. From cheesy one-liners to puns so terrible that they should probably be illegal, this book has it all – it’s sure to make you laugh and cry.

‘The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.’
Virginia Woolf

So you’re getting on a bit, but even if your body creaks more than it used to, you’ve still got your sense of humour. This collection of witty quotations and gems of senior sagacity will keep a spring in your step and the cobwebs at bay.

Are you a clueless romantic? Do you stumble over every compliment you offer your loved one? Let’s be honest: you need to stop trying to be the dreamy, passionate lover you desire to be – it’ll never work.

This book, packed with tongue-in-cheek quips and endearingly honest declarations of lukewarm love, is right up your street and the perfect gift to give to your other half (instead of that beautiful bouquet they’ll be expecting).

Pamper someone you love with this sweet book of vouchers containing romantic gestures, from breakfast in bed to a dreamy weekend away – it’s the gift that keeps on giving!

If you’ve stopped finding the ‘hide the pencils’ routine funny, or just need some wicked inspiration for staving off office boredom, these dares are guaranteed to have you gasping with delight and cackling in anticipation as you:

• Arrive at work in your dressing gown, holding a bowl of cornflakes
• Book a male stripper for the office on Friday afternoon
• Create a mini aquarium in the water cooler
• Communicate with everyone through the medium of dance for the day

With 400 outrageous dares to help release your inner delinquent and challenge your nerve to the limit, the question is: Do you dare to play?

A titillating book of 32 sexy vouchers for lovers to get you both hot under the collar!

Provoke squeals of delight from your amour with this deliciously naughty book of vouchers containing saucy gestures and ideas, from a seductive massage to a lap dance.

If you’re looking for that special gift for your favourite someone for Valentine’s, a birthday, or “just because”, then look no further than this steamy selection of vouchers from the oh-so-cute to the downright dirty!

Why not offer to greet your lover with nothing but a smile or perhaps engage in a bit of al fresco friskiness? Maybe you’re a dinner-by-candlelight kind of couple… or is a seductive massage more your thing? Or how about talking dirty or joining the mile-high club?

Flirt the night away, get hot and heavy, and then come back for more!

It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

It’s the best of times and the worst of times. You’re welcoming a new addition to the family, but you’re now officially old. You’re also an eternal babysitter. On the plus side, you can enjoy spoiling the little darlings rotten and hand them back at the end of the day before the nappies start overflowing.

This outrageous book of cute cartoon creatures boasting larger-than-life proportions is guaranteed to make you guffaw.

A unique and inexcusable glimpse of nature’s lesser-known creations, this menagerie will show you a side of the animal kingdom you’ll find it hard to forget.

A hilarious, fully illustrated book full of tongue-in-cheek advice for surviving life as a cat parent – the perfect gift for any cat lover

You have the best cat in the world, it’s true. But there’s no avoiding the fact that, perfect and adorable as they may be, there are certain elements of being a cat owner that you could do without. Those thoughtful “gifts” you find in the kitchen. The scratch-marks on the couch. Their hairballs clogging up your vacuum cleaner.

Luckily, this no-nonsense guide is here to teach you all the tricks you’ll ever need to help you navigate life with your furry friend, so you can focus on the positives – like giving them head-scritches and cooing over their little toe beans.

With pearls of wisdom like these, you’ll be a pro cat parent in no time:

– As a cat parent, you will need to work out the golden number of tummy rubs your cat will allow before they turn into an uncontrollable scratch-monster
– Your cat may look cute and innocent, but there’s an evil mastermind secretly at work behind all that fluff
– Items placed on a surface are highly offensive to cats and will be quickly dispatched to the floor, where they belong

‘I need to work hard on my maths so I will be god at it.’

‘My dads boss lives in a big hose.’

‘When I am older I want to learn to drive a cat.’

Children are at their funniest when they’re trying to be serious, and their earnest attempts at mastering the English language are a goldmine of unintentional humour, from the charming to the ludicrous, and from the profound to the downright X-rated. Enjoy this bumper edition of side-splitting spelling slip-ups and hilarious homework howlers.

Ever been lost for words abroad?

When you want to get your point across abroad there’s only one way to do it: by swearing your ar*e off! Impress the world with a stream of multi-lingual profanity from this nifty pocket book.

I threw the kitchen sink at him but he went to the bathroom and got his tub.
Andy Roddick on Roger Federer
When I lost my decathlon world record I took it like a man. I only cried for ten hours.
Daley Thompson
I’ve seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won.
Muhammad Ali
Win, lose or draw, players and fans always have something to say about it. Packed to the rafters with the best quips and quotes from across the world of sport, this massive collection will keep you smiling in the stands even when you’re smarting from the scoreline.

My doctor asked me if I drank to excess. I told him I would drink to anything.
What is a bear’s favourite pasta? Tagliateddy.
How do snowmen get to work? By icicle.
If laughter is the best medicine, this colossal compendium is an overdose waiting to happen! With gags grouped into sections ranging from babies and birthdays to marriage and music, there’s something for everyone in these jest-packed pages. Side effects may include split sides and a sore jaw.

What did the poo say to the fart?
You blow me away!
 
Full to the brim with obscene one-liners, gross-out gags and smutty shenanigans, this book should be your number one – and number two – choice for lav-based laughs.

Is ‘shit’ the most versatile word in the English language? Quite possibly!

This little book presents some of the best uses of our favourite expletive. From doctors (Take two shits and call me in the morning) to waiters (You want fries with that shit?), and whether you’re a Darwinist (It’s survival of the shittest) or a Catholic (If shit happens, we deserve it), there’s enough shit for everyone!

Another year, another set of exams and another round of well-meaning students to provide us with our textbook mix of wisdom and wisecracks.

Bursting with yet more crazy and creative thinking, this book showcases an all-new selection of test paper answers, from hilarious misunderstandings to breathtaking ingenuity.

If you don’t know a cold war from a cold sore, then take comfort in this cracking, all-new, fun-size dose of F in Exams, containing some of the worst howlers from school history exams.

My mate was selling a television cheap because the volume was broken. I couldn’t turn it down.

What’s black and white and bad all over? These jokes! Groaning with silly gags, classic crap wisecracks, naff knock-knocks, poor puns and lame one-liners, this book will make you cry until you laugh.

What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off!


Filled with more filth than three-week old underwear, this little collection of obscene one-liners, smutty shenanigans and graphic gags will have you blushing like a freshly spanked bottom and sniggering like a naughty school kid.

Class has begun!
It’s a new term and you can’t wait for it to end. If only the holidays were longer… or school didn’t exist. To get through it, you’re going to need survival skills:
Essential items: Headache pills, tranquillisers, stress ball, flare gun…
Do power dress to show you’re not to be messed with. Don’t wear a Darth Vader costume.
This mischievous little book will help see you through your years as a teacher with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.